Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Randomize
