u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
