yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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