My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
