So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
