some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize