I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
We are two peas in an std pod
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
