So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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