Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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