Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
This toilet bowl is my home.
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