No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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