I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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