can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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