i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize