I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Apparently you make a good broom.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
