True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
