drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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