i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
