it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
