Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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