I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
