i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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