please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
