I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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