It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize