I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
