Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
