Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
You can't special order awesome
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
