Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
