remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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