Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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