When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i think i scared a bird with my dick
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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