yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
