we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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