i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
4 words: hood of his car
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
