i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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