I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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