You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
