come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
