So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
so let's talk penis.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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