I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
