I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
