who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I AM VODKA MAN
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
