Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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