You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
