if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
