I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
