He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
