Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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