i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
