in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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