I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
