I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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