Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
