just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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