all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
