We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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