And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
