this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
