Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
