Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i was born a porn star she said
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
