I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
