Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
