dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
