I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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