Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize