If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I just gift wrapped bread.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
