Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
