He kissed a someone with a penis
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
