you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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